Morning! God, I love Mondays.
It’s just so quiet and nice here, just me my coffee and my dog. Peace.
In a minute a nice man is going to come and begin working on my bathroom which is VERY exciting because I really don’t like more than 6 months or so to go by without someone swinging a hammer here because I love change and believe me, my bathroom is in a pretty big need of a change. Did I tell you the story about WHY my bathroom is getting done at this very moment? Um. I don’t think I did. I’ve debated and toyed with the idea of both telling you and conversely, sparing myself and my family some of our typical Griswald embarrassment. But really, it’s Monday, and I feel like the majority of you could use a little laugh at my expense so here it goes.
We have an old car. It was a good car and we had it for a long time. It WAS a good car when I driving it and then Eric inherited it and like most things he touches, for one reason or another, it became kind of dirty and dented because although he likes to spout off all the time about his spectacular driving abilities, the body of whatever vehicle he is driving at the time would beg to differ. So, this summer, Eric, my white collar office worker who is hard pressed to fill a nail hole or hang a picture on the wall, decided that it was time to get a new car and that no other car would do besides a full cab, full bed pick up truck. Perfect. Mind you, the guy drives like 1 million miles a week to and from his OFFICE and honestly, if I really start to let my head go to the place where I think about the absolute ridiculousness of the fact that he needed a truck to do it I would explode.
Anyway, so that leaves us with the old Mountineer that is in some definite need of some cosmetic work, but that runs fine and really just needs to be sold. Of course the thing sat in my driveway, all white trash style, for MONTHS before it dawned on Eric to throw a for sale sign on it and park it at the end of our driveway. He did that and not long ago he got a call from what seemed to be a really nice, yet somehow bizarrely over eager guy named Mike. Mike Campbell from Rockland to be exact. Mike wanted the car! He was real happy and did Eric know? He also does lots of high end painting and house renovations and stuff like that (you know..the kind of person who SHOULD be driving a pickup truck) and he wondered if we would like to barter.
Let me just tell you, it is one of Eric’s dreams in life to be like that guy who bartered, what was it, a red elastic, or something and turned it into a mansion on the cliffs of the South of France or some other CRAZY thing. Eric, dear heart, thinks that he could do this if just given the opportunity, so when he heard the word barter he JUMPED at the chance. Add this to the fact that I mentioned that my pickup driving husband has a real hard time when it comes to manual labor around our house (our small house) and the ceiling and the trim has needed to be painted for approx 3 years and it is simply too much for him to bear so when he saw a potential out he was like…”holla”…
So, Mike Campbell comes to check out the house and go over with Eric what he can do. Amazing really. All of the trim..the ceiling and at some point Eric mentions that we are going to be doing the bathroom over soon. Ohhh, Mike Campbell. He can’t say enough how he can do all sorts of work like that and that he would be happy to. Let me just tell you, at no point did Eric and I actually THINK that this was going to happen. We THOUGHT that he would come in and paint what he said he would..what the agreement HE WROTE UP said he would, an agreement, mind you that stated NOTHING about bathroom renovations.
We were wrong.
Mike Campbell and his little buddy came here last week. And within one hour had done no painting and demo-ed half my bathroom. We had had a 40 second conversation about what I wanted to EVENTUALLY do in there a week prior. The first hammer swing I was like….”Ummmmmm……” By the 5th I was like..”Omg. Can we shower?” Which was the point that he saw fit to ask the question “Is upstairs a full bath?” It was not. There was not one fixture bought, not one tile purchased or even picked out, for God’s sake and my bathroom was half gone. NO PAINTING WAS DONE AT ALL.
Soooo typical of us.
So, after I called Eric in a full blown panic, Eric in turn started to call Mike Campbell. Asking the obvious questions..like WTF? and WTF?
At this point Mike decided that this deal was no longer good for him. Returned the bane of my existence truck and decided that the deal was off.
Oh. OK. So, basically you came into my house, demolished my bathroom and then decided that , yeah…you’re all set. I meannnnnnnnnnnnnn. Really.
He’s adorable though..providing Eric and myself with constant entertainment since it happened. He has the IQ of a newborn chimp and the best part of it, besides his illiterate text messages, is that the dipsh*t left all of his tools here and keeps asking to have them back.
**picture me wiping a tear away from my eye after laughing hysterically for 20 minutes**
He is too afraid to come here to talk to Eric and the BEST, the absolute best is that he is now threatening, via unreadable and grammar free text, to SEND US A BILL!! Heheheee….yes, he feels as though this will straighten us right out. He’ll send us a bill for the destruction he caused and that will be sure to fix us.
What a jackass. HOURS of entertainment.
I mean….HOW is it fine for someone to walk into a house tear apart a room and then just walk out. All set. All good. It is just more than my college educated mind can wrap around.
BUT…we did get a great guy who I have hinged my VERY high hopes on and he is here now and making things right and I might love him.
Ok..so there’s that. I say it often, but it really is a wonder that our two kids have made it this far in life without being left somewhere they don’t belong or something like that.
Want to meet one of my newborn baby boys? Lot’s of newborn little boys lately and today I get to introduce you to my buddy Little Eddie. I’ve been waiting for this shot even before his mom and dad, Claire and Eddie got married. I didn’t shoot their wedding but Claire was the maid of honor at one of my favorite (and easily most hysterical brides) Jillian and we got to know each other. She told me years ago that I would be the first person she called when she had a baby and she wasn’t kidding. Love.
She had this perfect little red headed boy not long ago and they came to the studio for a visit.
Oh. My. God. I love this baby.
I can never help myself when a baby flips me the bird. I know this makes me incredibly immature but I don’t really care. It makes me laugh out loud every single time.
Such a little angel.
Sweet Claire and funny Eddie. I am so, so happy for them.
Congratulations you guys!! He is just BEYOND. You did a good job and you are already amazing parents.