I thought that I would share with you some truths this morning. I feel like it has been a significant amount of time since I last questioned and/or bitched about the love of my life and I also feel like since I am safe and secure in knowing that he doesn’t read my blog and I have spent the last 5 days within 20 feet of him I can report some truth telling to you this cold, winter morning.
1. This one I came up with this weekend after yet ANOTHER mysterious registry of motor vehicles fiasco (because incidents like we (read: HIM) had this past weekend occur on much too regular a basis with car insurance, the RMV, and the cable company, etc and are always a MYSTERY with blame pointed at the inaccurate information that he consistently receives from people that are supposed to know the EXACT answers that you are calling to ask them). I am pretty proud of it, actually. It is a simple truth and it goes like this. “THINK harder and make life easier”. Simple words of wisdom, but if he just lived this way his/our life would be smoooooth sailing so much more of the time. Just think a little harder on a day to day basis. Because, if I am being truthful, there are times I wonder how he finds his car in our driveway most mornings. Just think HARDER, baby. A little bit harder and life could be much less irritating.
2. There is no real reason, not one that I have yet to come up with yet and I have been thinking long and hard about this for the past 11 years or so, that a person can’t put their dirty dinner plate IN the dishwasher instead of on the counter top directly ABOVE the dishwasher. Nope. No real reason at all and yet he does this. ALL. THE. TIME.
While I strongly believe that there is no real REASON for this there HAS to be some sort of twisted thought process that is to blame and other than some underlying, subconscious or even conscious need to drive me up a wall and back every morning, I can’t figure it out.
3, I will never, ever, never, ever, care about what his story is in the bathroom. Never. Unless he somehow morphs into my first newborn baby. Then I will care. Until then this information needs to be kept to one’s self. This is a truth above all truths and I don’t know why he ever feels like anything surrounding this topic would warrant conversation. It doesn’t. This same truth goes for all of the other men living in this house as well.
4. The coffee isn’t that hot. Don’t slurp it. Because it makes me want to take the mug out of his hand and slam it against the side of his head until he stops slurping.
5. He isn’t sick. HE JUST ISN’T. That is all I really have to say about that.
6. Mowing the lawn three months out of the year will NEVER measure up to going food shopping and making dinner on a year round basis. We are not equals when it comes to this and when there is whining about having to change a light bulb in the middle of January the visual of me tearing my own hair out is the only picture in my head. Also, since we have global warming to thank there has been no winter outside upkeep to maintain so putting the clothes in the dryer once in a while wouldn’t kill anyone (specifically HIM). **this being said the guy does rub my feet on command and will go get me candy whenever I ask…for those reasons I will do the laundry and food shopping without complaint..besides the one I just wrote (and, let’s be honest, the ones I will mutter at a just barely audible decibel as I am walking by him with a basket full of clean clothes while he watches Bamazon on TV)..because it is kind of funny and it is a truth…**
7. Talking while I am watching any Real Housewives, or anything on Bravo for that matter, is unnecessary. And the attitude I get when I say “Shhhhhhhh” is also unnecessary. Zippa the lippa, big guy.
8. Just because a pot or a pan was used for dinner prep does not mandate it to be left soaking in the sink for 24 hours or until I come along and can’t stand to look at it any more. Sometimes, yes, a pan can use a soak. But not ALL the time EVERY time. Wash it. Godddammit, WASH THE THING, it won’t kill you.
9. I love him. This is the most basic truth. He makes me laugh every day and there simply isn’t a way I could live without him. He is my other half.
The half of me that has the single handed ability to make me want to bang my head off of hard things all of the time.
Whew…that feels better.
Why don’t I get right to my little Jack point since I feel all vented and now can move on with my day.
My good friends, Tom and Tricia just keep having baby boys. Like, it seems like they are having a baby boy once a month. They have my good friend Thomas, my new favorite two year old Seamus and now they have to most beautiful little boy ever, Jack. All of these people make me happy…all of those baby boys are so lucky to have Tom and Tricia..they are awesome parents and make having 3 under 4 look easy. Well, that is a lie. Nothing could make that look easy, but at least they didn’t look like they wanted to run for the hills when I came to visit and I find that quite impressive.
Honest to God. Look at this baby!! All of their kids look so different from one another. This one has a tan.
He also has a wonderful sense of humor and he likes me very much.
So damn cute.
The expressions on Tommy and Seamus kill me.
This was Seamus putting on his best moves. They totally worked and he is now my boyfriend
This was when I told Jack it was just about time for me to wrap it up. He wasn’t psyched. Understandably.
Congratulations you guys!! Just another perfect boy to add to the mix.